It's so close!

Christmas is almost here, and this year has been building up to it. 2010 has been waiting patiently for me to see the light of Jesus. And boy, am I glad I have again. In the past couple of days, I have figured out the lesson that I was meant to learn for the first 9 and a half months of 2010. Through the bad, God still shines through. For instance, when that person told me I needed to get right with God, it was God talking to me via "burning bush"(if you will, just keep up). That person was satan, and God was teaching me that I need to be careful with whom I trust my heart. He also showed me what I do and don't want in a significant other(refer to "The Way We Were"). A lot of the false I saw in that person, satan, were actually things I seek in a person(again just stick with me). The show that was put on for me, was what I wanted. God showed me what it was like to be treated like a princess. Obviously I am no princess, but I felt special. The way I felt when things were blissful, is what I seek in a mate for daily occurrence. satan saw the burning bush as a dare for me. he never thought I was serious about reestablishing my relationship, with the Big Man Upstairs.
I meant very little to that person. I was a notch in her bedpost. Rumor has it, she's about to do the very same thing to the one for which she left. It's all good though, for me anyway. I am a different person because of 2010, my burning bush, satan, and the lessons God taught me. I am ready to start 2011, and leave 2010 in the dust. I won't start off 2011 the same way I began 2010, believe you, me.


Okay so if you got lost, and I got a little lost just typing it, here's the Reader's Digest version. I was in the desert, and God came to me in the form of a burning bush, showed me what I want, and what I don't, as well as letting me see what satan is really all about. Not only that, but He showed me how easily believable satan can be when you aren't paying attention. It's really easy to turn to satan when it seems like you're at rock bottom. But when you refuse to hit rock bottom, God is already at work. I view this a little like Harry Potter vs. Voldemort. Voldemort/satan is getting stronger in the world, and it's up to us Jesus Freaks, to fight him down. I feel like I am a stronger woman because I am back with the in crowd :D Okay, enough rambling hehe
Until next time, peace and love

Oh Lord, it's almost time!

It's almost Christmas, and it seems that people all around me are suffering loss, death, or shortcomings. My God is blessing me with health for Christmas, and I couldn't ask for more. I get to get two teeth pulled on Christmas Eve. Now that seems like a whole load of crap to some, but for me, it's a blessing. If I don't get this done, I could end up in the hospital, or not know how sick I am, and could die. I've let it go for too long and that's exactly what the dentist said to me. Not only that, I get to give to someone I never thought I could give to. I won't go into detail, because that would ruin it all. I have had a severe cold for almost a week, and I am so ready to kick it. I'm trying every old wives' tale in the book, and it's all coming out of my body, so I guess that's good, right? A friend from high school lost a child yesterday. He was maybe 3 months old. As far as everyone could tell, it was completely out of left field. He was healthy, mom was happy(just minor baby daddy drama), and then the next day, he was gone. I know God does everything for a reason, and I know it is for her to grow, but I can't even imagine what she is going through right now. I knew her when she was this happy go lucky girl, when she was down a bad road, and once she cleaned up her act for her child, and I'm so scared for her to go back down that road. So, if you could spare just a moment, and place her in your prayers, that would be the best Christmas present for her, and for her soul. I would never wish that pain on any person on this earth. Not even the people who have hurt me. I don't know how to wrap my brain around it, and it didn't even happen to me. I didn't really have much more to say other than that. I give thanks to my God, because I woke up this morning, and I pray that I get to experience the miracle of tomorrow. Until next time, peace and love.

I'll be wearing white, when I come into Your kingdom...

Hokay so:
I am back on an ebb and flow I can deal with. I dropped my phone in the toilet night before last. I have a backup phone, but couldn't find the charger to save my life. I have to wait for Christmas(at least) to get it replaced, because of the $100 deductible on my phone insurance. Anyway...

So I have a date on Sunday evening. She's a Christian and even if it doesn't end up being a relationship, I will have definitely gained a friend in Christ. I don't know what that means, other than maybe I can move on. If nothing else, someone to divert my attention. My heart is full of evil thoughts and wishes, and I so don't want that. God and I have been working on some ways to slowly release the evil without unleashing it. I'm fighting satan in a big way. But my God is bigger than satan. With His help, I, too, will be bigger than satan. She's a Christian and even if it doesn't end up being a relationship, I will have definitely gained a friend in Christ.

Okay I think that about sums it up. Until next time, peace and love

In the midst of darkness, God is my beacon.

I have had an interesting span of a week, not excluding the range of emotions to boot. I've cried quite a bit in the last week, and learned that sometimes, the touch of a stranger comforting you when you cry, can mean more than a bouquet of lilies. God is directing me, and on my path I am experiencing some really rough patches. I'm coping as best I can, and I have a great support network around me. Saturday night at a Christmas musical, I had a bit of a breakdown. I thought I was done with it, but God had a different plan. During church on Sunday, I welcomed God into me and let it out. For the first time in a very long time, Worship brought me to my knees. Through my tears, gratitude trumped questioning. Someone told me to let God drive, and just trust Him. I don't trust easily, so putting my trust in something bigger than a human, is huge for me. Little by little, I am learning to trust God. I love having that constant in my life. I can't truly complain about my life. I am incredibly blessed. If this life is good, just wait til I get to that one with Him! A friend said to me on Sunday, "I'm glad we found you." I was almost speechless, but I found the words and replied, "I'm glad y'all found me too". My witnesses keep me accountable. Okay, that's all for tonight. Until next time, peace and love