Letter To The Past.

I've been reflecting lately, and I have drafted a letter in my head. It is to bid farewell to the past. Don't assume you are in this. These are directed at memories in my head. I have told anyone and everyone how I feel about them, and this is not intended to be mean. It's my blog, and I am venting. again, don't assume, but if you must, then stop reading and just go back to your life. Here goes.






In my life, there are certain memories of that have since left my mind. When I dance in my underwear and sing into a plastic spork, I can't place something I did
with you. When I cook dinner in my underwear, I don't have a memory for you.
When I lie in bed at night, I can hear my neighbor, and not you grinding your
teeth and snoring simultaneously. I have a feng shui apartment, that doesn't have
any resemblance to how YOU arranged it--except that feces brown wall. Man, I
was a fool for you. Now, you're someone else's fool. You are dead to me. I was
shocked. I was sad. I mourned. Now, you are gone, and I am just fine with it. I
have let you walk all over me. I have let you steam roll me. I have let you control
me. I have let you assault me. I have let you batter me. I have let you love me. I
have let you hate me. All of these things that I have done, pale nothing in
comparison to the fact that you WANTED to do all of these things, and
succeeded. In this life, I will never doubt that you love me. But at the same time, I
don't know that you yet understand that love--still. So with that, instead of taking
a step back and realizing that maybe, just maybe this isn't how it's supposed to
go, you just go with it. I admire it, yet I hate it. You haven't "ruined my life" like a
teenager would say. You have given me indirect wisdom, that I will pass on. For
that, I am regrettably grateful. My life without you in it may seem the same, but it
is different. I am a much stronger, more driven, and more self-reliant than I ever
was with you around. Keep your distance, please, for I have no need for your
closeness any longer.

I feel better now XD  (colors in accordance with the Blogger rainbow)

Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Stand On The Promises You Hold Dear

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them, They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can't see. I say, It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me.

--Dr. Maya Angelou.

I love this poem, because it enhances the idea that God made me for exactly who I am. Dr. Angelou is a big source of inspiration for me, because she is just as this poem describes. She has a connection with God, and it empowers her to be a feminist. This poem encourages me to be me, just how God wants me to be. With that being said, I must turn your attention to a blog that I read, Joe.My.God. I will promote his site, but not post the video that is embedded. 

I posted the video on Twitter and Facebook a few days ago, through his blog. I refuse to give them the sharing credits from You Tube, and I have also reported the video to You Tube, to no avail. This video, shows what kind of bad publicity that us "bible thumpers" get. I don't care on which side of the isle you sit, how you believe, or how you practice. 99% of us can agree that this is not the kind of stuff we want our friends and families experiencing. America, meet your domestic terrorists.

These are NOT real Christians. They are debunking scripture, and quite honestly, if they keep growing, will bring the gullible people down with them. They are vultures, preying on people who are better than them, people who have a stronger relationship with God than them. They are the modern day Pharisees and it makes my stomach churn. I guess the feeling seems to be mutual, because I make theirs turn. Why? I believe in a LOVING God. I believe in a FORGIVING God. I am a GAY Christian. I SUPPORT our uniformed service members. I refuse to let them die in vain because this "church" might picket their funeral. And let me just say this; I will need Jesus if they show up at my church(again), at Denver Pridefest(again), or anything that pertains to my daily life. Jesus will help me remain the aforementioned Phenomenal Woman that I happen to be. Without Him, I will end up in jail. They talk big about God's wrath, and they will be the people that experience that wrath first hand.

To Fred Phelps and your army of minions:

I pray that God has mercy on your souls. Don't count on it.

*steps off of soapbox*

Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

The rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

How Do You Talk To An Angel?

Well, really, all you have to do is say their name and they will be listening. That is, if you are, in fact, trying to talk to an actual angel. God taught me a lesson this last week, that He loves me no. matter. what. He showed me in the form of bringing one of His children home. My stepdad, Kevin, was beckoned home on April 30, 2011. Now for those of you that know me, you know that he and I had a bond, but it wasn't like you would think. We are dueling personalities. We both have the mentality of, "I know I'm right". Because he got his life back on track, and because he got right with God, we grew closer. It helps having someone in similar shoes. But I have to give credit where it is due, and this man had something that kept him around, even when problems arose; he loved my mom. Did they have a storybook romance? Heavens no! But, they loved each other. I even mentioned it at his funeral. No matter what happened, he loved my mom, and I loved him for it. For the week leading up to the funeral on Friday, I had no idea as to how to wrap my brain around this. So in my fog of confusion, I prayed for God to make me understand this lesson. Kevin knew what it was like to be completely right with God, and he knew what it was like to run, too. He got me in that area. He quit running 13 months before he died. Nobody is perfect, and know that of all people, I understand that. If God still opened His arms to Kevin, then he will still do the same for me. no. matter. what. I am learning what it is like to run to Jesus, rather than from, when times get tough. Sure, it seems easier to run away, but you know what, I would rather run to my friend that will NEVER leave me. That being said, I know Kevin is smiling down on his family, knowing that even up until the very end, we all loved him, for who he was, where he was, and for just being true to himself and God. Every time I hear a song we listened to, together, I will smile. Even if there is a tear in my eye, I will smile. One day, I hope to love, and be loved, like he and my mom did. It was a love I don't quite understand yet, but even in the bad times, or when they were apart, they still loved each other. no. matter. what. Just like God. We miss you Big D, and we can't wait to see what you've got cookin' for us on your grill in the clouds. :)


Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.