I'm over this feeling...

Days like these are
Why I cry
Why I laugh
Why I scream
Why I mourn
Why I yearn
Why I desire
Why I pray
Why I curse
Why I smile
Why I grimace
Why I sing
Why I dance
Why I celebrate
Why I bleed
Why I breathe
Why I sleep
Why I live.

I can't seem to break this cycle. I have forgiven, yet I have not forgotten. I still seem to push your sins to the back burner. "It's the past", I tell myself. "You've changed", I say. Sure, it angers me, but you seem to creep back into my life ever so often, and I almost feel mended. That is, of course, until I remember that you aren't super glue, but Elmer's and will wash away with my tears. You are quicksand, and I seem to sink no matter what you do. I miss my dream. I miss what was supposed to be real. I thought I had escaped your fantasy world. Apparently, when I'm not looking, you find your doorway back into my life, and you don't even know it.


I'm just in a weird mental state, don't mind my ramblings.


Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.