God Opens Doors

   Today, I prayed for guidance, direction, mercy, an open door to let it all go, and peace.(I say today because it was before I fell asleep at 4am, and again later today) I got all five. "...ask and ye shall receive..." Philippians 4:6. I woke up this morning with a clearer idea of what I might have in store for my future. God told me the Navy. I asked Him to guide my hands to make that beginning.
   I pitched the idea both Momma, and Momma². I pitched the idea to my Grandpa, the Navy veteran. I pitched it to my Nanny, the former Navy wife. I pitched it to my Daddy, the one who has shown me mercy like the father in the parable of The Prodigal Son. The Mommas' responses were, "Wow, ok" and "Really?", respectively. Grandpa's and Nanny's were "I think it will be very good for you. I'm proud of you". Daddy's response was, "Let me make sure this is what you want, that you're prepared for it, and I'm proud of you". Pretty groovy, huh? So, I called the recruiter, and they will be calling me sometime this week. Guidance and direction: mission accomplished for today.
   Next came finding the words to speak mercifully to a friend. My friend is in some turmoil. Not to say that it isn't self inflicted, but turmoil is scary. I wanted to be a different kind of friend than I normally am, in that I would look at this person and say "REALLY? SERIOUSLY? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" But this situation is different. This called for compassion. My friend has been saying that to himself already, so why would I do that to him? I got my answered prayer today. I found the words to say. I made sure to let the people around me know, that I have the words. The person I thought would be affected most, told me she wanted me to talk to him if I had the words to say. I said "okay", and walked the 15 feet to my friend, who was in a ball at the alter, shaking, and crying. I put my hand in the small of his back, and told him what God told me to say. "Give it to God, and it will be okay. You will come out of this. I promise." If God can love a wretch like me, then why can't I show that same love. Obviously, for those involved, it's different, but I know where they stand, and that's okay. My friend didn't know I was there, and I texted him later to let him know, I was, and repeated what I had said before. Mercy, mission accomplished for today.
   Next came the open door, for which I was not expecting such instant gratification. Thanks again, Big Guy! The texts that I questioned Friday, were answered after an intense night of prayer. When I say after, I mean like the moment I walked out of the church. Yeah. She told me she asked because she cares. %^&*(*&^%$%^&*( SAY WHAT? Stay with me here. I had an inkling that she had typed that to the wrong person. I was right, but did she say that? NO. She lied. AGAIN. Surprised? Nah. She told me that she cares and that she was worried. I told her I'm obviously not okay, and that I wanted her to stay gone. The fact that she texted me didn't help the "trying to get over her" situation. She told me if I wanted to talk just let her know. $%^&*&^%$%^&*(&^%$ I repeat: SAY WHAT? I told her that I couldn't talk to her because we both know that I would be angry, and that since she wasn't texting to fix what she had ruined, I didn't care to hear from her, which I followed with, "still wanna talk?". I proceeded to reiterate every little thing she did to wrong me, from lying to me, proposing and leaving, lying to everyone that meant anything to me, cheating on me, stealing from me, leaving me in financial turmoil, to, (OH let's not forget) taking money from me. With every text, I said, "still wanna talk?" I then told her I knew she had been stalking my blog, I knew she meant to send the text to someone else, and that because she tried so hard to break me, (and I let her), she deserved the hell she gets. I told her she is satan in the flesh, and hell suits her. I also told her I would pray for her. Finishing, I told her the only way she would get civility from me, was for her to get her s&*^ together, pay me the money she owes me, and forgive herself. In addition, in order to forgive oneself, one must know their transgressions. Now she does. Not only do I know that the text was never meant for me, but I reminded her I knew she had been stalking this very blog. She responded with "alright already. that's enough". To which I said, "You wanted to talk. You got what you asked for." And that is all she wrote, ladies and gents. I asked God for a door to open to find peace. He did just that. Open door and peace to follow: mission accomplished for today.
   Momma² spiritually cleansed her house tonight and I must say, I stole her idea. I just finished praying in every room of my apartment, for peace, and a fresh start. Erase the old memories, create new. I'm learning to drown out satan's voice with God's. It's hard because satan has a loud voice. But I'll get there. I'm wore out. I feel 50 pounds lighter since I said it all to her. It's out, it's gone, and I'm praying for no more tears over her.

Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.