I Know He Has A Plan...

It's just really hard to accept that right now. I had planned to use my tax returns to get my life back in order. So much for that. In total, I got back $600, and so far, life has gotten in the way. $500 is gone, between getting bills caught up and the stupid tax company charging me, even when they said they wouldn't. I should have been able to get a car last year, but I let a human being take control of my life and I am still picking up the wreckage. I'm still receiving her mail. She's contacting my family when they've asked her not to. I let a human being in and let her take over ME. I feel lost again. I'm trying to find the light at the end of this tunnel, and I know He is showing me the way, but I feel like I'm walking blindly through. This snow is really putting something under my tail to get something with 4 wheels, but at the same time, every message I get from God is so cryptic. I believe in signs, but I am out of my element here. I can't read these signs. I don't really feel like rambling about how I can't get control of my life anymore. So, I'll leave you with some lyrics that describe how I'm feeling.
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

[CHORUS:]
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
"Gravity"--Sara Bareilles


Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.