So the "honeymoon" is over with us and we've been together 9 months. We've known from the start that are meant to be. We have 5 degrees of separation. We've met prior to this adventure. We've lived together the entire time we've been together and spent one night apart--and that like to have killed both of us. I love her on a level that I have never known and it is blissful--and frightening. I've not been in a serious relationship such as this and she has an intensity that matches mine. We love passionately, but we fight just as passionately. I'm regathering the pieces of the relationship I attempted to destroy with my God and that can be difficult when you are with someone who has a much better, more secure relationship with their God. She's patient but not as patient as she thinks.
My best friend is single and doing her own thing, so we find it very difficult to discuss matters of this intensity. She and I made a bet three years ago that one of us would be married before the other. When one gets married, the other pays the MOH $100. We both have a feeling it will be me paying up.
Cassie has a very different relationship with her mom than I do, and we both struggle with that. My mom is very conditional and makes it known. We've gotten to a point where we can tolerate each other and even be mom-daughter friends. Cassie has the kind of relationship with her mom that requires Cassie to be her mom's best friend. Her mom tells her EVERYTHING--even the stuff a daughter has no business knowing(imho). She gets in the middle of her parents' fights and by the time she realizes she's in the middle, she has to fight quicksand to get out. Then it takes a toll on our relationship because she dropping everything to help her mom. So then comes the conundrum. I never want to make her choose between her family and me. I would highly suggest a reevaluation on what to jump for and what to leave alone, but I fall upon deaf ears every time.
We both work very different schedules and in the beginning it was a no brainer that we fit in romance whenever we could. Now, it's like planning a dinner party. We have to schedule it. I work a strssful job and work anywhere from 10-14 hours a day, five days a week. I try to keep my home and work lives separate, but am not always successful.
Back to the beginning, where our story began, we began in 2007. I worked a popular smoothie bar here in the Denver metro and she was a frequent customer. I was a senior in high school, and a year post first gay relationship. I saw her about 3 times a week and I could never work up the courage to get her number. I knew her name because we had to ask them when they ordered, but was completely chicken. The friend she always came in with to the smoothie bar was a friend of a friend of mine. She later tried to fix us up but Kendall and I lost touch. A couple of months later, I met up with her at the Diversity Conference that the area districts held for GSAs and creative expression groups. We talked but I never got up the courage to ask for her number or even a date(I later found out she was in a relationship anyway). My count is 3 degrees so far. I worked for that smoothie bar at various locations for a total of 3 years and my mentor for our fundraising program was the manager at Cassie's new frequent location. Working with my mentor I met Cassie again, but didn't tie the two mystery girls together. While on an outside fundraising event, my mentor then said to me, "hey Meg, if you're not seeing anyone, I have someone I think you'll love." *eyebrow arch*"Really?" "Yeah, her name is Cassie and she's just out of a relationship." We never got the chance to figure it all out because I left the company. Right before NYE 2009 I saw someone on a dating site I'd been cruising that caught my eye. I'd hit a lot of road blocks with this site so I didn't expect what happened next. We talked for about 2 weeks and finally decided we should meet. We had a great text connection, so what could it hurt? She invited me to a beer pong tournament and I was reluctant. A co worker said she could take me and if there was anything bad, she'd wait around the corner. So I went. That's where I met Cassie for the final time and I wasn't gonna let her get away. I had always been a chicken when it came to the first move, but this night was different. I did it! So when I posted a picture of the two of us on Facebook, my mentor comented immediately and reminded me of who she was. I could not believe it. Apparently my mentor had been telling her about me too.
So now we try to make us work. I wrecked my car AND my mom's within a span of a week due to black ice. So I hoof it and take public transit. She and I became a one car family and that is stressful in and of itself. I still use public transit, however it stops running in my area before I'm off work. So I either have to bum a ride, or she has to come get me.
Cass was, and still is, the answer to my prayers. NYE 2009 brought me my wake up call to regain control of my life. I got out of hand and ended up with alcohol poisoning and lost friends because they refused to call an ambulance. All because there were people who were underage there. I wasn't, but if 911 got called, cops would come too and I'd get charged with disurbing the peace and the host would get that, but also contributing to the delinquency of a minor. So, I dealt with the reprocussions of my own actions and met Cass a week, to the day, after. She inspired me to clean up my act. I rarely drink now and I feel better. Yes I have to now deal with my emotions, but I'd rather feel than be numb. It reminds me I'm alive. And so it goes, this roller coaster of learning how to deal. This is Meg, signing off.
Peace and love to All.
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