The Be All, End All

   We came to a mutual decision that this is not our time. I say mutual because I told her I was not going to give up, but I am not going to live in an unhappy relationship. Of all the things she said to me in everything we discussed, two stood out to me. 
   Number one is my relationship with God. She told me at the very beginning, that without improvement, we would never work. I have been working on that since that very moment and continue to grow moment by moment. She doesn't feel that I have. My relationship with God has grown so much since I met her, but I am intensely private about it. I don't feel that God has called me to be a vocal witness. Just like with any other aspect, I feel like when asked, I will respond accordingly. In reality, I have been more deeply in touch with God than I ever have been before. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if He brings me to it, He'll get me through it. 
   Number two was my job. This relates to number one because I have been praying on this subject for some time now and God and I have come up with the answer to that. She asked me how I was making her a priority when I wasn't making myself a priority. She said that by suffering at my job, I wasn't making myself a priority. To a degree, she's right, but at the same time, God had a bigger plan for me. I told her that I felt my current job has been a test for me. A test in which I had to meet the criteria to move on to the next challenge in my life. To date, I feel like I have met such criteria. I have been awarded many potential opportunities in the past two weeks and I feel that none of that would have been possible without the tests and battles along the way. 
   A lot of changes were made by her both consciously and subconsciously since May. I didn't keep up with the pace because I wasn't ready for those changes that I needed to make in my life. I could sit here and waste time in the "shoulda coulda wouldas" but because I am now ready to make those changes in my life, those have no place. I am learning to live for me and my God. And He is right beside me, his footprints next to mine, in my journey.