Peace.

Peace is something that, if you have even met me for a second, you know means a LOT to me. Inner peace. Familial peace. World peace. Social peace. Political peace. So when that becomes truth, even for a fleeting moment, my heart flutters. I find peace in some of the most random acts. Driving, most days, brings me peace, because even as a newborn, the hum of an engine is both soothing, and comforting. Reading a good book brings me peace, because I get lost in a different world, and my imagination is in hyperdrive, for reasons beyond my control. Getting body modification brings me peace, because I'm creating a new expression of my inner self, as well as escaping reality. (Seems fitting that I have a peace sign on my back, huh?) Seeing a pattern here? When I can escape my reality, even if for a moment, I am somewhere else, away from it all. Sometimes, I don't even have to leave my bed. I find peace when I am at one with my Creator, because with Him, I am perfect. I have no worries. I have no regrets. I have no past. I am not flawed. No one can intervene. In a good portion of the places I find peace, I feel closest to my Creator. It's a circle(insert "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry") that I never want to break. I could do without the unrest, but it makes the peace so much more worth it. Peace. My anti-drug.(cliche?)

Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Feelin' Some Poetic Vibes...

I may not have rhythm, and I may not be a rapper, but I can write a poem, so maybe the beat in my head will match it. Here goes!


The Woman I Have Become
Do you know the female over there?
That girl who hides it all, with a smile?
You'd never guess the hell she has endured.
The tests of Faith, the trials of life.
You can't see her scars, because she won't let you.
She's got them, trust and believe.
The things she has seen, you'd never believe.
The things she has done, you'd pooh-pooh.
She just shows the good.
She shows you that she has it together.
She shows you her armor, though it's disguised as grace.
Grace. She could use some of that.
Her peace signs are a form of prayer.
She shows everyone she meets.
She prays for peace within and around her.
Peace is something that is truly foreign to her.
She's getting acquainted, however.
Learning.
Failing.
Rebounding.
Succeeding.
Falling.
Living.

© megyoung. 2011

Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Do Whatcha' Say...

So, that phone call on Friday really threw me for a loop. It was good to hear from a friend, but it threw everything that was on kilter, off. I had to confess it all and it was weird, because even when God knows everything, just like an earthly parent, He wants to hear it from you. So I was metaphorically prostrate. This morning, I almost was. I got a text that shook my foundation yet again. Different person, and different circumstance but still, rocking was done. Today, was a trying day.
Yesterday, was quite blissful. I enjoyed sleeping without an alarm to interrupt. I enjoyed celebrating the life of my FAVE 6 year old. I got to drive a SICK 'Stang. I had a great conversation with Amber that I am eager to continue. I got all but one load of laundry done. I ate DELICIOUS sushi. I rocked at pool. I slept another night without an alarm, yet still was up in time for church. Great Saturday.
Sunday, well it started well. God didn't let me stay in my fantasy world, a.k.a. "All up in my head". No sir, the tears began in the 2nd song. I was having a sob fest, praying for my friend, and praying for a soul that I pray gets direction. It's easy to talk the talk, but are you actually walking with Him? The theme today was giving it all to Him. As in literally, nailing it to the cross to go with God. So I made a list and nailed it to the cross. I pray that the list becomes less of a weight on my shoulders because it's what's keeping me from drawing nearer to Christ.
I was almost prostrate, physically, at church because I was letting it all go. After letting it all go, and I was a mess (you should have seen the mascara playground on my face), the two ladies sitting next to me asked if they could pray with me. Deb and Dorothy. They prayed for me, indirectly due to my privacy, as my tears fell and my nose ran. I needed to feel His mercy through complete strangers.
When I got downstairs to Momma², worry took her face when she saw my tear soaked face and blood shot eyes. I told her what was on my heart. As my eyes regained their whites, my phone rang. Lana was calling to tell me of her despair. We are working to get something figured out for her.
My house is much cleaner. All of my clothes are clean. My stove has been thoroughly deep cleaned. Grievances nailed to the cross. Accomplished. Finally.
Challenge: Make an extra effort to further your faith everyday. I'm going to be, will you? Now if I could just remember to take home my butter braids...

Although Your Foundation Shakes, Keep Your Faith Solid.

Solid as a rock. Let that foundation shake! Keep that faith in tact, and you'll go far!
I am repeating that in my head right now. I haven't had the words to blog lately, and now I do. It's not an angry blog, but it's definitely a humdinger.
I received a text tonight informing me that I would be getting a phone call, one that I never anticipated, nor expected. It was intended to be light hearted, and informative, but I cried the whole time. My "least of these" and I had a 15 minute conversation that made everything real on my end. Taking myself out of the situation and just talking to him, I realized reality and it shook my foundation. I heard that tone I had heard during our last heart to heart, and it scared me. It is still scaring me. I'm praying that my gut instinct is wrong on this one. He is not well. With that being said, I need all of my readers to pray/send good energy/bless/insert action here for/to my friend. He flipped his life upside down, and I want for my friend to overcome this, and not succumb to this. As Momma² says, prayer cover engage! I am grateful for all y'all and I am giving you good energy and prayer in return!
Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

When Did I Become An Adult?

I'm signing life insurance forms. I am filling out health/dental enrollment forms. I am naming beneficiaries for my affairs. I'm reevaluating my tax withholdings. I am drafting a will, because I have no dependents. SMH. I don't recall this happening. I don't recall the change. If I were ever a thumb sucker, I'd curl up with my blankie and my thumb and not face the world. However, I have not ever sucked my thumb and my blankie is LONG gone. So, I will just make myself a cocktail, sit in my very own apartment, and wonder, where did it all go, and where will my future take me. Sometimes you just need to get a recharge, and I am so excited for mine. Lookout Mountain, here I come! Well, as soon as Saturday gets here.

Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Ok, No More Angry Blogs.

Maybe some Angry Birds, but no more angry blogs. Well, no more once a week posts that are angry. I have actually had a decent week, or so, and I've been feeling quite a bit better. I still have my downs, but it wouldn't be life without them. I have been praying a lot about closure. Complete and utter fire proof safe closure. I have been getting subtle answers. Well, to me they are subtle, because I'm still learning how to hear His voice over the others in my head. He's been showing me the mistakes I made, and the things I did right. I had a realization, like just now, as to why I fell SO hard. I grew to love her, but in the beginning, it was the fear of being alone.
I must admit it's been fun
But that's no reason to jump the gun
If this is real time will tell
So let me bite my tongue and remind myself

So don't say that word
Not the one we both heard too much
You may think you do but you don't
It's just the fear of being alone--"The Fear of Being Alone" Reba McEntire
If that song would have been in my head in January 2010, I would have never dropped the "L" bomb. Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda. They moved out a LONG time ago. However, I realize that mistake and I know, now, how to not make that mistake again. Live and learn, right?
I learned that because I am terrified of being alone forever, I am gullible enough to believe anyone that will promise me the world. No matter how big the lie is. That doesn't sound very strong to me, does it to you? I know that with God, I will never be alone, but companionship is always awesome :). I need to build my foundation with Him before I try to build a house. A house built on sand will never stand, right? So why would I waste the materials without a foundation----AGAIN?
I have learned that in this life, absolutely nothing is static aside from death, taxes, and above all, God. So I know that these ebbs and flows will subside. I also know that ANYTHING could change in the blink of an eye. So for now, I am giving it to God, and being a sheep. As a wise woman told me, I'm hanging it on God, and telling Him to take control. I'm not challenging Him, because I have made that mistake too many times before.
I told you I'd be more positive :)

Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

I'm Doin' Alright, For The Shape I'm In

So, I have this irritant. It's one of those things that gets under my skin. That thing is judgment, and frankly I'm sick of it.
Point: My actions have no right in your mouth to come out as judgment. I don't care how you believe, in each doctrine, faith, creed, whatever, they teach you to not judge(as far as I am concerned). It's a commandment in Christianity and I realize that I, too, am guilty of this, but I am actively working on it. Not that it's any of your business, thank you very much. I understand the need to look at someone you care about and say, "Wow you're gonna regret that", or "Wow, I wish you wouldn't do that". What I do, is between me, and my Creator. Just because I make it known, does NOT mean that you can say whatever you want to me. I don't really care who you are to me. If I want your opinion, I will ask. That makes me sound like a bitch, but you know what, it's the truth. If I come to you trying to(as I put it) "bounce some ideas off of you", then that is when you are permitted to tell me how you feel. I am sick and tired of being criticized for MY LIFE. I am an adult, although I sound like a pissy teenager right now, and I need to make my own way. No, I have no idea what I'm doing, but neither did you at my age, and if I want to know about how you got through it, I will ask.
I realize I am 22, and stupid, because if a 22 year old isn't making stupid decisions, said young adult isn't living in reality. With that being said, the only thing that is helping me keep my head, is the Serenity Prayer. If you don't know it, here it is, and say it with me:
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.