Ok, No More Angry Blogs.

Maybe some Angry Birds, but no more angry blogs. Well, no more once a week posts that are angry. I have actually had a decent week, or so, and I've been feeling quite a bit better. I still have my downs, but it wouldn't be life without them. I have been praying a lot about closure. Complete and utter fire proof safe closure. I have been getting subtle answers. Well, to me they are subtle, because I'm still learning how to hear His voice over the others in my head. He's been showing me the mistakes I made, and the things I did right. I had a realization, like just now, as to why I fell SO hard. I grew to love her, but in the beginning, it was the fear of being alone.
I must admit it's been fun
But that's no reason to jump the gun
If this is real time will tell
So let me bite my tongue and remind myself

So don't say that word
Not the one we both heard too much
You may think you do but you don't
It's just the fear of being alone--"The Fear of Being Alone" Reba McEntire
If that song would have been in my head in January 2010, I would have never dropped the "L" bomb. Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda. They moved out a LONG time ago. However, I realize that mistake and I know, now, how to not make that mistake again. Live and learn, right?
I learned that because I am terrified of being alone forever, I am gullible enough to believe anyone that will promise me the world. No matter how big the lie is. That doesn't sound very strong to me, does it to you? I know that with God, I will never be alone, but companionship is always awesome :). I need to build my foundation with Him before I try to build a house. A house built on sand will never stand, right? So why would I waste the materials without a foundation----AGAIN?
I have learned that in this life, absolutely nothing is static aside from death, taxes, and above all, God. So I know that these ebbs and flows will subside. I also know that ANYTHING could change in the blink of an eye. So for now, I am giving it to God, and being a sheep. As a wise woman told me, I'm hanging it on God, and telling Him to take control. I'm not challenging Him, because I have made that mistake too many times before.
I told you I'd be more positive :)

Until next time, peace and love

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.