So she's moved out. My "new" apartment is starting to reflect me. My birthday is Friday and I'm stoked to celebrate without her. In the past few days I've learned truly to always trust my gut. My gut is God's way of making me pay attention. Through various channels of communication, I have received confirmation of her compulsive lies. I also have received confirmation, that she had been at least mentally cheating on me for about a month or so before we started to speak of parting ways. So she was either lying to me when I asked her about anyone else, or she doesn't consider thinking to be cheating. I believe the former. The only things I know to be the truth in our entire relationship were the things I said, and the things I experienced. Everything was a show. I don't know that I'll ever know the motives(although I have an idea) behind the act, but I can't honestly say I want to. I want her as far away from me as possible. She had said once that she wanted me to hate her. I'm close but still not there. Disappointed, sad, filled with disdain? Yeah but not hate. I refuse to hate anyone because a heart filled with hate is a heart doomed for hell. I know where I'm going and I'm doing what I can to stay on the path to Heaven. I pray for soul's sake, she gets back on that path.
Because I'm focused back on myself and my walk with God, life is liveable again. I like life again. I definitely like that feeling. Until next time, peace and love
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